recently i was confronted on a decision i had made that hurt a friend. this friend of mine couldn’t have done this any better; he was hurt & wanted me to know that a choice that i had made affected him in a personal way. he didn’t confront in an accusing or hateful way, he didn’t threaten the end of our friendship, he simply pointed to the value of our friendship & said that it mattered so much to him that if he didn’t say anything then he’s not being a good friend to me. wow, that’s some good self awareness there.
so as he said these things; things that, by the way, are all true; i had a decision to make: am i going to give rebuttal or sit there and take it.
that’s what it feels like right? when someone comes at you with a hurt or something you may or may not have done the defenses go up, & “i’ll tell you why…” – fill in the blank with whatever you’ve said in the face of hurt. after all, “you’re not just going to sit here & take this are you?!” that’s a voice that runs in my head, your voice might be different.
so i could do that, OR, i could just listen & hear the hurt in his voice. and like i said before, this guy couldn’t have been more genuine & put a great deal value in our friendship.
important point: this isn’t me telling you how you should act, this isn’t instructional; this is a confession. truth is, i can be a better friend.
there are times when it’s important to defend your actions & speak up, but i’m finding that there are many more situations that require me to be quiet first & just listen. in the case of this friend, who continues to be someone i can trust & will continue to lean on; i had acted a little selfishly.
again, really important here…this isn’t instructional, it’s confessional.
i can always do better & there are some people that God has put in my path to help me do so. and if i’m always talking i won’t be able to hear it very well.
