listen-1g4cw1srecently i was confronted on a decision i had made that hurt a friend.  this friend of mine couldn’t have done this any better; he was hurt & wanted me to know that a choice that i had made affected him in a personal way.  he didn’t confront in an accusing or hateful way, he didn’t threaten the end of our friendship, he simply pointed to the value of our friendship & said that it mattered so much to him that if he didn’t say anything then he’s not being a good friend to me.  wow, that’s some good self awareness there.

so as he said these things; things that, by the way, are all true; i had a decision to make: am i going to give rebuttal or sit there and take it.

that’s what it feels like right?  when someone comes at you with a hurt or something you may or may not have done the defenses go up, & “i’ll tell you why…” – fill in the blank with whatever you’ve said in the face of hurt.  after all, “you’re not just going to sit here & take this are you?!”  that’s a voice that runs in my head, your voice might be different.

so i could do that, OR, i could just listen & hear the hurt in his voice.  and like i said before, this guy couldn’t have been more genuine & put a great deal value in our friendship.

important point: this isn’t me telling you how you should act, this isn’t instructional; this is a confession.  truth is, i can be a better friend.

there are times when it’s important to defend your actions & speak up, but i’m finding that there are many more situations that require me to be quiet first & just listen.  in the case of this friend, who continues to be someone i can trust & will continue to lean on; i had acted a little selfishly.

again, really important here…this isn’t instructional, it’s confessional.

i can always do better & there are some people that God has put in my path to help me do so.  and if i’m always talking i won’t be able to hear it very well.

james 1:19

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